Activating the Three Ds

I came across a house with a lawn display that read “Trump Lies, Thousands Die,” surrounded by tens of miniature American Flags. Interestingly enough, the house across from this one was flying Trump 2020 flags. What's important to understand here is that the people supporting either of these ideologies are doing so because of their own deeply held values and likely many severely unmet needs. Rather than jumping to any conclusions about what statements like these might mean to each homeowner, Equilibrium emphasizes how critical it is to ask more questions. Use this moment to activate these three Ds, Dialogue, Dissect, and De-escalate.

Whenever possible and safest:

1. Take the opportunity to dialogue with folks around you. Actively listen and don't just wait for your turn to speak. Try not relish the chance to debate but rather remember the benefit that comes with learning more about how someone else thinks and having them learn about you.

2. Carefully dissect their sentences. Notice what words and examples they use in the discussion and ASK FOR CLARIFICATION on why they are meaningful. Take the time to explain the same for yourself as well.

3. Remember that the purpose of this conversation is to de-escalate the conflict that is building. This is not at all to say that conflict is unnatural, but it can be uncomfortable for many people. The idea here is to bring a bit of relief to the situation by receiving and providing more understanding in order to better remind yourself of the humanity in those around you.

Next time you find yourself on the brink of conflict with someone, try out these three Ds. You might uncover some complex layers both in others and yourself and likely, you'll be closer to Equilibrium.