Radicalizing Compassion
I recently watched an interview of Deeyah Khan, Founder and CEO of Fuuse production company. She spoke very passionately about the idea of radical compassion as a useful response to terrorism and to those who resort to extremism in any direction. Her words ring especially true as the world is experiencing this time of unrest. Many people are grappling with feelings of being oppressed or pitted against others. While others are examining their own biases, trying to determine whether they’ve been guilty of contributing to these issues. Themes of us vs. them, hatred, and fear run rampant in daily news and social media. Instances of harassment and violence are springing up across the country and beyond. Understanding between groups is running thin and people on all sides of today’s issues are desperate and asking themselves “where do we go from here?”
In many DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) and conflict resolution circles, people are being encouraged to have and facilitate candid conversations and active listening. Many times, though, emotions are so high (rightfully so) that it can be hard to get to any common ground in these conversations. So once again, “where do we go from here?” What do you do when you feel blinded by anger, disappointment or negative emotion? What can you do to slow the moment down enough to get your point across clearly and also receive the perspective of anyone else involved? Aside, from working with ME, a conflict resolution specialist who would work as a neutral third party who could facilitate that conversation (*wink wink), you can start simply by leading with radical compassion during conflict.
Hear me out, hear me out! As cliche as that suggestion may sound, both I and Deeyah could tell you that it really works. The definition of compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. In the conversations we’re discussing now, the “suffering” referred to is the oppression, anger, hopelessness, and negative feelings that people are experiencing in some way. If we want to get to the place of systemic change that many are fighting for, its going to take being aggressively and radically compassionate for the experience that another is having—because essentially we are experiencing the exact same suffering (even if due to drastically different reasons). The person on the other side of my argument, with the exception of circumstance and upbringing, could very well be me.
Yes, that could be an overambitious exercise, but practicing this humanizes the person you’re arguing with and gives you at least a moment to cool down and communicate more clearly. Like I said, that is just the first step. As we venture into creating this new world together, where we recognize and lift up each other’s differences, listen to each other’s point of view, and positively influence each other through effective communication, let’s remember’s Deeyah’s suggestion.
“We do not want to be encouraged into dehumanizing each other. We’re not just anything…there’s more to you [and me] than that. The more we can get to the real heartbeat of it, the closer we can get to solutions…We can’t afford to give up on each other. If we give up on each other, then we’re giving up on ourselves.” - Deeyah Khan
See the interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkux4MsjK_k&t=135s
